Month: August 2022

– How do I love, with all my heart, my husband who is an alcoholic?

– “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Mt. 19:26). It is very hard to love a husband who tortures you, your children, relatives, and all people around you by his drinking. You can do it fully only with the help of the Grace of God.   In our faith, this reflects in compelling yourself to patience. Of course, it does not mean we should stimulate the person to further drinking by our patience. We should cry and persuade, and speak strictly sometimes… but keep trying. There are extreme cases when even the Church blesses to leave such people. There are options stipulated by the Social Concept of the Church, adopted in 2000, where even the Church gives its blessing for leaving a drinking husband, if he is a threat to his wife’s and children’s lives, and if he has degraded so much that he becomes socially dangerous.  However, these are extreme cases. 

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov

– I live in a constant state of quarrel with my relatives and myself. I have no peace of soul; rather, I have a feeling of defeat. I am worn out and tired of all of this. I realize my inability to have a correct reaction to external irritants is transmitted to my children; I can see their nervousness and intemperance. This tortures me even more and makes me feel concerned about their future. I lack the will and consistency to observe the Jesus prayer rule every day. I observe it for several days, then I give it up, start it all over, and skip again. I am tired of myself. Please, I need your reassurance!   

– The Jesus prayer is precious for having no special conditions. It can be pronounced anywhere and at any time. If you fail to say it with your mind and heart, you may pronounce it aloud. You only need to get used to it. Say it during your work, a walk, or in bed. If you set up for yourself big aims, you strain yourself, and this may result in a breakdown. Set some smaller objectives and keep accomplishing them… The prayer is short and simple. Pronounce it all the time, and experience will gradually come.  

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov

– Father, could you please tell me about the inverted perspective in icons. I read some time ago that it represents the space inside of a human.  The lines of single-point perspective, going inside the onlooker. That means that its place is not up there, but inside. What will you say about this?  

– This is absolutely correct. “The Kingdom of God is within you” (Lk. 17:21). Saint Nicephorus the Recluse said a very exact phrase in the “Philokalia,” expressing that after the Fall, the activity of the human mind was directed outwards. In order to come back to God, we need to change the direction and to bring our mind inwards.  Inverted perspective in icons shows that. It guides our mind to the place where the Kingdom of Heaven is. In other words, it brings us to our hearts.  

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov

– A sin tortures my soul. Once I took contraceptive pills, which may have an abortive effect. I do not know how to live correctly, how to pray for the baby I might have killed. What if he or she is suffering in hell now because of me? I fall into despair and think there is no salvation for me, who is so sinful. What should I do?   

– Despair is the gravest sin as it stops everything. People stop fighting in their spiritual lives. When they do this, they will commit many more different sins. This is why the Lord gave us such miracles as confession and repentance. We can always start over again.  

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov

– Father Sergiy, I write to you, but I haven’t received an answer yet…

– Our readers ask us such questions from time to time.

Dear brothers and sisters, if you have not received an answer for your question yet, there may be several reasons for it. It might happen that Father Sergiy has already given an answer for a similar question. Please, look through the following section on our website “Questions-Answers” (“Texts”, “Audio”, “Video”, “Video answers on topics”). Perhaps your question is exclusively personal, or it is not related to spiritual life, or it belongs to the 18+ category. Also, it may appear you have not recognized your question, provided you wrote it too long, and the editors had to shorten it. 

But the main thing, please, remember Father Sergiy is a common human made of flesh and blood, just like all of us. He may be very busy, he may fall ill, or he may leave the city for some reason, etc. 

We read to Father Sergiy every question sent to the website, as far as possible. 

With best regards and love in Christ,

The Website Editors

– I am retired, but I still work, as my pension is little. I spend a considerable sum on medicine and housing costs. Our priest invited me to work at our church, to help him with the documents. I would like to serve the church, but I am afraid of leaving my job. What should I do?  

– You should not leave your job if you need money for living. Help your priest as much as you are able to, if you have an opportunity for this. 

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov

– Having listened to your conversation, I started to pray the Jesus prayer and gradually came up with the Arizona rule. But I did not ask for a blessing from my spiritual guide for this as several years ago I did ask him about this prayer, but he said I should on no account pray with it because I had little love in my heart… I have been praying it for six months and I am afraid to ask him as he might prohibit this… I do not want to be deprived of this rule. Please, Father, bless me! I am going to visit your monastery in autumn and am saving up for my trip now.  

– Yes, please, of course.

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov

– I noticed if I do not receive the Eucharist for a long time I get sick, both spiritually and physically. Is this normal to feel the need for frequent Communion (every Sunday or every other Sunday)?

– It is good when a person receives the Eucharist often. 

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov

– All my life I lived in sin. I have realized this and try to improve, but I have been sick for many years and have problems with walking. I am a disabled person of group I. It is unlikely I will be able to come to your monastery for a service and take a blessing from you as I live far away in the suburbs of Moscow. I have a big favor to ask. I have a granddaughter Sophia (she will turn 2 soon), and I would like to buy an icon of Saints Faith, Hope, Charity and their mother Sophia painted by you. I hope to have your blessing this way and teach my granddaughter our faith, so the Lord forgives me, who is unwise…

– I will not promise. It is easy to promise, but hard to accomplish. An icon requires time and work. I am afraid of making promises. God willing… 

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov

– They say, there is no use picking a fight, but if you do, you should win. Is it true? 

– Of course, if you do, you should win. But what is your victory? This is an important question. You won. You proved. You got it…but you have no joy as there is emptiness inside of you. Then what do you need this victory for? You should feel good inside. Sometimes two people argue. One beat another in this argument due to his or her eloquence and drive and talk around the opponent even if he or she is not right…  Meanwhile, nothing but hollowness remains inside and no joy of such victory. When people conquered Berlin, they had great joy because the victory was holy. At the same time, there are victories which are not even holy, but sinful.  A strong man came and beat a weak man. Is this a victory? Humanwise, this may be a victory, but in accordance with God, this is a defeat. One feels wretchedly inside. However, if you pick a fight and reconcile everyone, this will be a true victory.      

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov

– Father Sergiy, could you please tell me if I may use and pray together with a recorded voice in order to avoid distraction of mind during the Jesus prayer?  

– Yes, you may. Some people have already asked me to record my voice. I will record it and we will share it on the Internet. 

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov

May I take the Eucharist at a church where they do not pray for the Patriarch?

– I am from a much suffering Ukraine. I was churched a long time ago. Ten years ago, I moved to a village to nurse my mum. I sing in a small church choir, read, and work as a church warden. I love church services very much. More recently, unbelievable things are happening. Before the services and during the sermons, everything comes down to politics, and people have stopped praying for the Patriarch. I often take the Eucharist, as I was blessed to do so by my spiritual guide, when I lived in the city. What should I do? How can I take the Eucharist at a church where the Patriarch, given to us by God, is scorned. My soul is worn out with suffering, while the situation is getting worse. All Russian sites, even the Orthodox ones, and yours, are blocked. Only the megaphones of the liberal and global power are available. Frightening aggression comes from everywhere; we will soon be killed for speaking Russian.    Father, what should I do? Can I take the Eucharist at a church where they do not pray for the Patriarch? Or should we not go to church any more and pray at home? I am all in tears, it is very hard to overcome this.

– The fact some priests do not pray for the Patriarch is a sin on their conscience. I think you may take the Eucharist, as we do not have an official schism yet. Try to reflect less on these issues because such reflections and thoughts may strain you. Leave the reflections for prayer. When a person prays, he or she does not reflect. Their mind is in God, “Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!” You will have to be patient for some time. All things must pass. This is a fact of life.  

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov