THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS WITHIN YOU.
How can a mystery of the Kingdom of Heaven be explained to a human?
Any explanation would not suffice, as these notions and knowledge of the Mystery of the Kingdom of God are not of this World. As per the Holy Scripture, this Mystery and the entrance to it are situated deep inside our hearts.
No one can explain this… St. Apostle Paul had trouble describing the Kingdom of Heaven due to the necessity of descending to earthly stereotypes, while Up There things are considerably different, and all earthly examples and concepts were insufficient, that is why he found it hard to talk about it, just like all the saints. People cannot learn about the Kingdom of Heaven unless they enter It.
But on their way to the Kingdom of Heaven inside their hearts in the mystery of tacit prayer Christians make a crucial mistake: they suppose they can enter it by their practical abilities, stubbornness and courage, but they push too much and give birth to some psychological states which they take for anticipation of the Kingdom of Heaven, while it is only psychological ardor.
In addition, when a person does not stop it and demons, on their part, help to make the excitement stronger, it results in a more serious error. Our heart has feelings, emotions and passions – this may be called an outward part of it, and it also has an inward part deep inside where spiritual life takes place and that is the spiritual center of a human. Therefore, this inward part of a human heart cannot be entered by any artificial practices of silent prayer, with breathing from the mind to the heart. Some people wrongly assume they can achieve it, but only God can open the door to that center, to the Kingdom of Heaven. It opens from the other side. Moreover, a poor, naïve person who started to practice silent prayer and who supposes he or she should breathe correctly, bring his mind up and down, push and show great zeal, should learn about this main condition of avoiding the mistake – the door opens from the other side.
People talk much about mistakes in silent prayer now. Sometimes it even comes to paranoia.
But you should keep in mind only that no matter what you do, no matter how you breathe or sit or concentrate or push – you will find only delusion on this side. The door to the Kingdom of Heaven opens by God, and unless He does it, our spiritual state will remain as it is…
Nevertheless, our purpose is to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven and enter It. In order to do it correctly we should stand by the door and call patiently: “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…” We do not break into it, we do not try to open it, we do not push. We just stand and humbly call: “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…”, but this door appears to be an obstacle between the Kingdom of God and us. And very often we get disappointed, broken down as Christ remains behind the door, we are eager to meet Him, experience Him. We want Him to become a real Person instead of some good high idea. At that moment, we see the difference between the saints and us. They have a direct knowledge of God, while we have a Person behind the door.
To avoid despair, a breakdown and disappointment we need to realize that we are separated only by a thin door, and He is there listening to us. We don’t see Him because of the door, the burden of our flesh, and our non-spirituality. We have not entered it yet, but we can anticipate it. And this anticipation is inspiring!
We do not need to hurry – and this is inspiring too! We can pray this way during our whole life without despair, exhaustion and break down. He is close, very-very close – behind this thin screen, and we whisper as if into a keyhole: “Jesus, Jesus…” But do not push on Him, do not force Him. Let Him decide when to open the door. And we will content ourselves with staying at the door as it is very-very close already “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…”, even closer than I stand to any of you now.